Gay boys endure messages from their parents, family, teachers, school and society that highly dissuades deviation from what the mainstream considers to be "normal." Normal to most people is defined as being straight/heterosexual and not gay. Gay boys have a very different experience than their straight peers and need to eventually learn that they are not abnormal, they are just not "straight-normal," they are "gay-normal."

Blocking is a complex process that begins at home with parents or parental figures who model and implement social and physical norms of expected behavior. Because these expectations are based on a widely supported yet inaccurate rationale that all boys are heterosexual, parents generally presume that all male children should be a specific, standardized, heterosexual version of what “normal” is.

The blocking effect is essentially repeated and reinforced on a broader societal scale once the gay boy enters a school-like situation outside of the home. The process then branches out to other dimensions of external society/community and schooling. Heterosexuality is an expected standard norm that is modeled and reflected in educational, community, and religious affiliations; it may manifest in the form of direct or inferred pressure that dictates how all boys are supposed to be whether or not they are heterosexual or “straight.” Ironically, the blockage can later become more fine-tuned in the adult Gay Male Community (GMC).

Blocking is particularly relevant to young developing gay boys. Many adult gay men who have been blocked as children must work through these issues. The consequences of being blocked from your true self, often have wide reaching effects on mental and physical and social health and well being throughout the later developmental stages of life.


You may also purchase Volume I of You've Been Blocked, by Joseph Contorer, MA, soon to be available here and on and multiple outlets where hard copies, electronic downloads and audio formats are available once it is released.