LGBTQ Clients
(Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, transgender and questioning) Helpful Definitions for LGBTQ
Related Terms: LGBTQ HELPFUL BRIEF DEFINITIONS:

“Is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others." Bullying is a term that describes a nasty destructive, hurtful action or set of actions aimed at hurting someone else. Bullying can occur in various capacities for different reasons and causes.

Gay children/LGBTQ children and adults are particularly susceptible to bullying. As children, the insensitive, ignorant little peers perceive LGBTQ to be different, which they are sometimes; therefore LGBTQ children are an easy target to be potentially relentlessly harassed and attacked. Fortunately, in recent years the extent of bullying (mainly in schools or similar settings) has received much more public attention and awareness. However, a higher likelihood of bullying, shaming and harassing LGBTQ children and also adults, may always be present. Some who insensitive, ignorant and just don't know any better or really care might presume that bullying and "school yard taunting" is just something that always happens and is part of growing up.

Without significant awareness and premeditated, executed interventions and plans, bullying violations are a likely despicable encounter that LGBTQ children, youth, teens and adults can potentially be confronted with at some point or many points in their childhood. Sadly even with the elevated awareness and intervention, and regardless of more awareness and prevention efforts, collective levels of bullying and shaming towards LGBTQ youth remains a chronic problem. Suicide risks are much higher for LGBTQ youth and adults too. Therefore, identifying bullying, and victims of bullying, which can be a precursor to LGTBQ youth attempting and succeeding at taking their own lives, must be taken very seriously and intervened upon as much as possible.

Bullying is most commonly associated with children being abusive to other children usually in school or educational settings. Bullying might consists of “getting picked-on,” being threatened, abused, harassed, shamed, physically beat-up, assaulted, subjugated and humiliated. Bullying is an abuse that can be verbal, psychological or often times physical. Bullying is an abuse that is not just committed by children; it is also a “style” of communicating and or controlling other people by certain adults. We see bullying on all levels, such as within the family/family systems and family dynamics and also in the workplace. Bullying is particularly relevant in politics or similar situations, like in the workplace at times. It is fairly well documented that the typical prototype of a (childhood) bully is one of a person who is insecure, self-loathing, feels powerless and is projecting their inadequacies on to other victims.

Choice describes a voluntary action, implementation or exercise of behavior or decision where there is an option to have a/the selection. We have an option or choice to choose how we behave in many regards. We do not have an option to choose our innate orientation or sexual orientation.

We do have some choice to decide how much or whether to be open and declarative about our sexual orientation (I.e. coming out as LGBTQ etc.) Alternatively, we have a choice whether to be very "discreet," private or perhaps sometimes illusive about our sexual orientation, in an attempt to keep it under wraps for personal reasons.

Everyone has a choice to decide to become properly informed vs. remain ignorant about sexuality, gender identity and sexual orientation and how these entities work, regardless of varied comfort levels or personal self-identity or officially identified or declared sexual orientation.

Is a type of cognitive ability that implies that a person possesses or can develop (improve) a sense and capacity to think about things in a factual, objective analytical capacity.

Critical Thinking is an important (and critical) concept as it pertains to understanding LGBTQ people and communities; it is a polar opposite to  "magical thinking," which can play a contradictory toxic effect with fundamentalist religions and with alcoholic thinking and behaving. In sharp contrast, with critical thinking, we are invited to explore a logical, more common-sense understanding of matters like sexual orientation and gender identity.

So, for example, the idea of homosexuality or LGBTQ communities makes some people feel very uncomfortable. When less aware folks have to face the facts that LGBTQ is an innate biologically occurring entity, it may throw them out of their comfort zone. Having to stop and accept factual reality, especially if it is directly impacting, (for example if they are dealing with a gay child/sibling/relative or friend,etc,) may pose as a challenging threat or a deviation from a more insulated entitled arrogant world. Critical thinking deficits can impact gay people who are in the closet and are fighting hard to rationalize their own heterosexual hetero-sexist fantasy and denial of their true selves (in order to remain closeted.)

The idea of critical thinking could invite yourself to answer this question very carefully:

"Does this make sense to you?" Stop and be smart and think it through. Why does it make sense or not? What is your opinion? What do you really think and believe and why? Not what the bible says. Not what someone at your school said. Not what a less informed parent may have said; and not even what your favorite sensationalizing news source boasted about. Just you and your empowering fortress of common sense.

One online definition:

"Critical thinking is the objective analysis of facts to form a judgment. The subject is complex, and several different definitions exist, which generally include the rational, skeptical, unbiased analysis, or evaluation of factual evidence. Critical thinking is self-directed, self-disciplined, self-monitored, and self-corrective thinking. It presupposed assent to rigorous standards of excellence and mindful command to their use. It entails effective communication and problem solving abilities, as well as a commitment to overcome our native egocentrism and sociocentrism."

Gender refers to an anatomical set of characteristics that we are born with and are therefore typically "assigned" at birth. These are physical and sexual characteristics that are generally initially associated only with one particular gender, either male or female. Whether it is in childhood or later in to adulthood, an individual may eventually determine and declare that they are not the gender that they were "assigned" at birth. Gender is about how we identify ourselves as a male, female or in some cases transsexual. If a person identifies as transsexual or transgender, the outer physical anatomy does not match their self-reported internal feelings, emotions, temperament and thought.

The concept of gender has become much more involved in recent years, not because there are suddenly more trans people, but because there is more knowledge, awareness and slowly more tolerance, about what gender identity consists of. If someone was born a certain anatomical/biological sex, but identifies as transgender, they find that they don't fall in to the previously standardized male or female descriptor. Hence, the term "trans" is also relative to refer to an abbreviated description of being transgender.

Although the gender of a newborn baby is based primarily from an assessment of the presence of male or female genitalia, in time we may come to learn from this individual's self-report that the previously assigned gender may not be accurate or fitting.

Homophobia is a term used to describe literally a fear of homosexuality. In present times this term is used to describe an negative discriminatory effect that is imposed upon gay people as well as LGBTQ persons (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender and Questioning.) More specifically, the term "transphobia" refers to a "fear" or discrimination towards and about transgendered people.

A person who identifies with same-sex sexual orientation; they are physically, romantically and or sexually attracted to members of the same gender. Previous estimates have suggested that there is about 10% of the general population that would conceivably identify as homosexual, also referred to as “gay.” Females who identify as gay may (also) refer to themselves as a “Lesbian.”

In short, when LGBTQ people have their own level of fear of their LGBTQ issues. This often times includes a profound sense of shame and self-hatred based on internalized messages they have been repeatedly exposed to from many sources during their life experiences.

Is a self-induced protective comfortable way of thinking that blocks out less pleasant thoughts, including more reality-based thinking. Some religious beliefs can use magical thinking to shame and manipulate LGBTQ people. Children who are abused sometimes go in to a fantasy land….. etc..

Is best defined as collective bullying. Mobbing is an interesting type of bullying that has become particularly relative today thanks to social media/internet/technology. An example of mobbing is where bullying becomes magnified to a larger group-level. For example, considering politics and the media and propaganda, a group of people can be persuaded to join in to form a large scale bullying or ganging up on someone or something else. Mobbing has become a devious, yet effective entity in creating the waves of hatred against various political leaders and movements; it also serves to perpetuate a generalized movement of genocidal proportions (like the anti-Semitism during WWII/The Holocaust.) For example, mobbing is a way to stir up emotions; particularly contempt and hatred or one powerful point of view based on the fact that it is a component of sensationalism. Mobbing is a toxic extreme exaggerated variation of a trend or wave that "catches on."

So, hypothetically, when asked:             Why do you hate__________?          Part of the response will be based on hopped-up, emotionally charged hot air that is a by-product of the effects of mobbing for or against one point of view or one person/group of persons. It is really part of the "group psychology." It's more comfortable and for the sicker devious folks, it's more fun to be in the group. A stupid humorous example:         In 1980, I remember a stupidly popular movement during junior high school, where they determined that "Disco Sucks." Guess what? that idiotic trend caught on for the time being. Like I said; Junior high!

Sexual Activity refers to the various specific physical and sexual ways and sexual acts and actions that we engage in with other consenting adults.

Sometimes, there is confusion by self-proclaimed anti-gay/anti-LGBTQ people because they insist they are disgusted or  "grossed-out" by their assumptions about what they associate with and how they perceive sexual orientations (LGBTQ) that are different from. 

Sexual activity is quite different from sexual orientation.

Another handy go-to place for ignorant commentary is the famous quip: "Sexuality is nobody's business." Comments like these are a convenient way to minimize the identities of LGBTQ people; however, but the basis for this is caught up in presumptions of what sexual activity and sexual acts might conceivably occur with gay people. It would be more ideal as a first step towards evolving and becoming more tolerant of LGBTQ for there to be a separation in thoughts about sexual acts vs. thinking about this person or all gay people in terms of how you think they might express themselves sexually. This is a person who happens to have been born gay or LGBTQ.

Not identifying as having only one specific, concrete sexual orientation (so for some, this means they do not identify themselves as heterosexual, homosexual, bi-sexual or a-sexual; it’s as though they prefer to not put any specific limiting “label” on their sexual orientation/sexual identity.

An innate biologically based reference to the way we are born and how we naturally orient /define ourselves to the world around us. One major component of how we orient ourselves includes who we are attracted to and in what capacity; in this case sexual orientation pertains to is who we are emotionally, sexually/physically drawn to particularly with regard to sheer sexual or romantic enticement.

Sexual orientation is not an option that is chosen, orientation is present at birth and develops in response to a biologically based drive and cannot be genuinely changed or altered. As absurd and deemed contraindicated and inappropriate by the American Psychiatric Association, some people choose to act as if sexual orientation/orientation therefore, is a changeable entity. Other reportedly heterosexual people insist that those who identify as LGBTQ have an option to change if they want to. Gender identity is generally assessed at birth by others who observe traditional male or female physical/sexual characteristics. However, gender identity is determined by the individual as they progress through the various stages of life development. A lesser number of people will identify as transgender vs. being male or female. Make sure you are clear that sexual orientation is a separate distinction from gender identity, which includes transgenderism.

Sexual preference is a naturally developed process and a function of innate sexual orientation. Previously, this term may have been incorrectly utilized or referenced to describe someone as being gay/ trying to refer to their sexual orientation; In this specific capacity and connotation, it was replaced with the more specific accurate term of "sexual orientation."

The reason the terms sexual preference and sexual orientation are not used interchangeably is because preference implies that there is a choice involved.

There is a choice involved for various sexual orientations to prefer certain sexual expressions, outlets and attractions. If there is a declared same sex orientation, then that person would likely opt to have a sexual preference of the same sex (homosexual) and a bisexual individual might prefer having relations with both sexes.

Nobody chooses to be gay/LGBTQ, however they may choose how to express their per-existing, naturally occurring gayness or straightness / LGBTQ etc.

“A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.” LGBTQ young children and adults are very likely to experience a sense of shame because they are exposed to overt and covert negative interpretations and pressures from their environment about LGBTQ people in general or specific attacks on or to them.

A small percentage of individuals will come to find out that they feel incongruent with the previously identified gender at birth. Thus, transgender individuals do not feel like the gender that was assigned to them by someone else/general society, based on their more obvious physical or sexual external body parts, predominantly external genitalia and secondary sex characteristics.

“Recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.” So, for LGBTQ children/young adults growing up, they may not have comparable opportunities to be validated for who they are- who their true self is.

Per Google:

“One that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent. One that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions. One that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment.”

Per Joseph: (with regard to LGBTQ Community etc.)

LGBTQ who during earlier parts of their lives were subjected precarious subjugating devaluing experiences.

Per Google:

“A person who defeats an enemy or opponent in a battle, game, or other competition.”

Per Joseph:

One who chooses to not remain victim, even if he, she or they has/have been subjected to situations that were previously victimizing.